Finding Meaningful Relationships

Back in school, I used to have a best friend with whom I would do everything together. Back in the 90’s, there were no cellphones, no text, so we would call each other every day if we did not get together after school. During school breaks, we would hang out at each other’s place, go for walks or just do nothing. We had a group of friends who we would spend time with, but the two of us were a “unit”. When I moved out of town and later out of country to the US, this friendship faded and disappeared. Distance often changes relationships, but moreover it’s the change in values and priorities.

As many of my former classmates and friends got married and had families, their “units” have changed. In the meantime, the same trend occurs as people get in and out of relationships, move and just go on to the next stage of their lives.

In my early 30’s, I find it is harder and harder creating long-lasting relationships. And it’s not that meeting people is that difficult. In fact, with popularity of social media and meetup sites, it is easier than ever, but for some reason these first-time interactions stay just that, one time deal. Of course, there are outliers, and I have created a few friendships that way, but it is certainly not the norm, at least not for me.

Could it be because people have already established their “units” and are not looking for any type of “commitment”? Is it that the culture of individualism consumed the idea of community, friendship and partnership? As we age, do we have stricter requirements for friendships? Or maybe we just don’t work hard enough to create and maintain those connections?

Regardless of the reason, as I travel, I find this trend in many other developed countries and wonder if there is any connection between how well off people are compared to others and the number of meaningful connections they create. The sense of community is so different among states within the US and countries in general. Culture is another factor that affects how we establish relationships. In some countries, there are closer bonds within families and among friends, more social interactions, while in others people tend to be more by themselves or stay in small “units”. As I continue exploring this topic further, I wonder how future generations with unlimited online access and increasing remote work opportunities will create and maintain meaningful relationships.